


A Ride on the Wild Side

by silverducks



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-08-21
Updated: 2011-08-26
Packaged: 2017-10-22 22:06:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/243073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverducks/pseuds/silverducks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Much to Mary's annoyance, and at Matthew's suggestion, she finds herself having to ride an elephant on her honeymoon! A humorous, and hopefully believable, story for post war Mary/Matthew</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Okay, so this is a bit of a silly/humourous story I wrote for a prompt from M/M's Monday Madness over at LJ. The prompt was basically Mary and Matthew ride an elephant! So, that's basically what happens, but I hope in a funny, not too silly or out of character way. Hope you enjoy!_

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Mary looked up at the giant elephant standing beside her. It was at least three times as tall as she was and she couldn’t help but wrinkle up her nose in disgust. The smell emanating from the animal was not at all pleasant and neither was the sight of the pile of rotten food sitting beside it. The chunky, grey legs were as thick as pillars and Mary could quite easily walk underneath the great animal without bending her head, if she so desired, which she didn’t, of course. The large trunk, almost as thick as the legs, suddenly swished downwards and it was only a strong arm around her waist that pulled her out of the way in time. The wide, grey and very wrinkly trunk just brushed past her as it made its way to the rotting pile of what looked like potatoes and took a large portion, dripping water and soggy food remains along with it. A few drops fell on her beautiful new sky blue dress and she jumped back further to avoid any more filthy splashes.

As she heard a chuckle beside her, Mary looked at her husband and narrowed her eyes in warning. Of all the things he had to choose for their honeymoon, it would be this, wouldn’t it! Still, as Matthew had insisted when Mary first turned her nose up at the idea, they had gone to Thailand as she had wanted, they had been to see the pretty beaches and the magnificent buildings, as she had wanted. They had gone to see the beautiful scenery and majestic forests, as she had wanted. In fact, every day of their honeymoon they had done exactly what Mary had wanted, though Matthew certainly had not put up much argument for the contrary. Now, it seemed, he was getting his own back. An elephant ride! Of all the things he had to choose an elephant ride!

At Mary’s glare, Matthew at least had the sense to stop chuckling and drop his arm from around her waist, but his teasing smile still remained and it only served to increase Mary’s annoyance. She let her eyes fall once more on the giant animal and craned her neck to see the face past the brim of her hat. The ears were remarkably small for such a large animal and they shook about as the animal happily munched away on its sodden potatoes, splashing more drops of filthy water over her pristine new outfit.

Crinkling her nose even more, Mary commented dryly, “Its ears are very small.” As if it had heard her and been offended, the giant suddenly let out a great bellow from deep within its trunk and Mary jumped back in surprise, banging right into Matthew and stepping into something that squashed under her toes. She looked down to see her beautiful satin boots marked by slushy vegetables that had fallen from the main pile. Matthew took the opportunity to wrap his arm around her neck and chuckle again in her ear. “I don’t think it likes you very much, my dear.”

Mary glared up at the animal, who seemed to be completely oblivious to them once more, though Mary was little fooled by its innocent demeanour, and then whirled around to glower at her husband in contempt. “They are much smaller than I have seen in pictures!”

“Those must be African elephants, Mary. Asian elephants have much smaller ears in comparison.”

Mary’s reply was to roll her eyes at her husband, trust _him_ to know the reason! Stepping away from Matthew, she turned around to face the giant beast once more, narrowing her eyes at it, trying to make it out; challenging it to defy her. It did not seem to appreciate her challenging and domineering attitude much, for it suddenly surged forwards, swinging its giant leg towards her. It was only the strong arm that returned around her waist to pull her backwards that prevented her from being quite knocked over.

“Are you quite sure it is safe, Matthew dear.” Mary asked, trying to keep her voice calm after the sudden disaster only just averted.

“Of course, my dear,” Matthew replied, the smirk only growing on his lips and, despite her glare falling on him again, his arm still remained around her waist. “I would not suggest it if it was not, would I?”

The innocence in his tone did not fool her one moment and she narrowed her eyes further at him to show she was not at all convinced.

“If it is too undignified for you, Lady Mary, you could always wait here whilst I ride.” Matthew offered, but the playful challenge in his tone was not missed by her, especially not as, at the same time, he drew her towards him and whispered it in her ear.

Ignoring the shiver that ran down her spine at his lips tickling her ear, Mary pulled away from him, took a few steps back from the giant elephant before her and, mustering every ounce of her good breeding and eloquence, she took on her haughtiest demeanour and gave the elephant a look of defiance. She was Lady Mary Crawley and she was not about to be defeated by a stupid, large elephant!

“No my dear, it is not undignified for a Lady. Have not elephants been used for centuries by the kings of this land?” She gave him her best, bright smile and pushed down the fear that crept into her mind as she looked at the animal and the very rickety looking seat perched atop his back. “I am simply concerned for the safety of my dear husband.”

That earned her a cheeky grin and he stepped towards her, beaming. “Well as you have no reason to fear for my safety, let us not waste any more time. Which of these two great beasts would you like to ride?”

Mary looked at the one standing before her, it was surely the larger of the two, for the one to the left of them was a good foot or two shorter and did not look anywhere near as imposing. Also, Mary felt she had rather a personal matter to settle with this one before her, for it had tried to knock her down twice already!

“I will ride this one, Matthew, and you can ride the smaller one.”

“Are you sure, Mary? This one is awfully big.”

Mary just glared her answer and stepped towards the giant, looking him directly in the eye in challenge. “Of course! Now, how does one get on these things.”

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 _Hope you enjoyed reading it. There'll be a couple more chapter's on their way. Oh and reviews are always very welcome and very much appreciated!_


	2. Chapter 2

Mary did not appreciate Matthew’s chuckle as he pointed round the side of the elephant. She had missed it before, but she saw now there was a very rickety looking wooden ladder that leant against the elephant and just about reached the back of the great beast. Mary tried hard not to show her horror as she took in the thing, but she couldn’t stop her eyebrows raising up in alarm. She was meant to climb that… that thing! It looked like it would snap under the weight of a child and collapse any second! It didn’t help that at that very moment, the elephant strode forward towards her in another obvious act of defiance and the ladder wobbled slightly, dangerously, and then fell with a crash into the trees that lined the clearing.

Spinning around in fright, she glared at her husband as his chuckle turned into full bodied laughter at the sight of her. She narrowed her eyes further and he then, at least, had the decency to try to stifle his mirth. “You honestly expect me to climb that thing! Are you wanting to lose your wife on your honeymoon?”

“It’ll be alright, Mary. I’ll even hold the ladder for you, if you want.” When his laughter broke free again, Mary whirled away from her husband in annoyance. She watched anxiously as the guides quickly took hold of the wooden ladder and started to drag it towards the restless beast.

“You don’t have to ride it if you don’t want to, dear.” Matthew’s voice pronounced mockingly from behind her. She did not need to see his face to know his eyes would be shining in challenge and his lips quirked up into an annoying smirk.

With her fist clenched at her side, Mary tried once more to regain her composure, before turning around and smiling sweetly at her husband. “But of course not, darling, I would not want to miss the chance of riding this lovely animal.”

She stepped towards it and gently placed her hand on its great front leg, surprised at how thick the hide felt beneath her hand. This animal must not have been as stupid as she first thought, for it seemed to recognise sarcasm and let out another booming roar from its great trunk. Though Mary was still quite taken aback by this sudden outburst, she at least did not jump back this time.

Matthew’s cheeky laughter still followed her as she walked around the elephant to where the rickety ladder was now laid once more against the giant. She looked up its length in trepidation. It was so high and the ladder was shaking as the animal refused to keep still. Swallowing her fear, Mary looked round to see Matthew behind her, though at least now he looked more encouraging than mocking as he gave her a warm smile. It did much to settle her nerves and she was determined to not be defeated by this great beast.

“You had better make sure you hold on tight, Matthew!” She glared at him as she turned back to the ladder. Tentatively, she placed her satin boot on the first rung and gripped the sides firmly. Taking a deep breath, she placed her other foot on the next rung and was now no longer comforted by the safety of the ground. As the ladder shook beneath her, she felt a jolt of fear run through her and she quickly turned towards Matthew and expressed her fright in a glare. He quickly got the message and took up his position, holding on to the base of the ladder, though he still found the chance to look up at her, catching her eye with a playful smirk. He’s enjoying this! Mary thought bitterly as she turned back towards the ladder. Well, she was not going to give him any more reasons to be amused! As her annoyance and frustration at her husband grew enough to overcome her fear, she quickly continued up the ladder, trying not to notice as it swayed and shook as the stupid elephant shifted under it.

When she reached the top of the ladder, there was yet another obstacle in Mary’s way. The last rung was a good foot short of the elephant’s back and the seat that was perched precariously upon it. She glanced back down behind her, suddenly wondering what to do, but then she saw Matthew below, thankfully still clutching the base of the ladder tight, smiling tauntingly up at her. She bit back the last remnants of her fear as a flash of indignation swept through her. In a flurry of movement, she very inelegantly perched on the last rung of the ladder, clutched tightly to the very top and pushed herself forwards, hitching her leg the foot distance and out towards the seat. She was just about to mentally congratulate her success when the ladder shuddered beneath her and the elephant unexpectedly lurched forwards. Suddenly thrown sideways, Mary just about managed to grab hold of the handle on the seat when she felt her hat start to slip. After a very brief moment of indecision, she decided to continue holding on tightly and let her hat plummet to the ground with a crash.

Gasping in a few sharp breaths and feeling her heart pounding in her ears, Mary took stock of her situation. She was currently lying very gracelessly across the seat, the tips of her boots resting on the ladder and her hands clutched so tightly onto the handle her fingers were turning white. She would have been quite happy to stay like that a good few minutes more, if it weren’t for the taunting laughter coming from below. Matthew’s laughter was loudest of all and it quickly spurred Mary into action. She pulled firmly on the handles of the seat, pushed her feet against the ladder and somehow managed to use the momentum to lift her legs up and find purchase on the seat. As she shifted into a more comfortable position, she took the opportunity to glare below her, keeping her head held high as her eyes looked down. That was not such a good idea, for she suddenly became aware of just how high up she was and the ground seemed to flicker and distort below her as her stomach suddenly twisted into knots. She’d never been afraid of heights before, but then Mary supposed she had never been on an elephant before either. She screwed her eyes shut for a moment, took a deep, though sadly not too calming breath, and pushed her fear and wounded pride aside. Forcing her eyes open, Mary looked once more on the ground, which thankfully did not distort quite as much this time.

Matthew had let go of the ladder now and was grinning up at her, which earned him another venomous glare. Summoning her best haughty expression, she called out, ignoring how breathless her voice still sounded, “Are you going to stay down there, Matthew dear?”

His grin widened and he shouted up at her, which Mary was sure was deliberate, for she was not that high up, “Yes, I will in a moment.” He looked towards her fallen hat, which had, given the universal laws of chaos, landed on the very top of the elephant’s food pile, amidst the rotten potatoes and what looked like green and very slimy cabbage leaves. She did her best to choke back her revulsion as her new, pretty flowered hat sank deeper beneath the debris. “Aren’t you wanting to come down and fetch your hat, Mary? It is quite undignified for a lady to be seen without one, isn’t it?”

If Matthew was expecting to get another rise out of Mary with his teasing, he had another thing coming! Whilst she couldn’t stop herself from reflexively touching her hair and feeling the elegant locks now tumbling around her face, she was not going to give him any more reason for amusement. She also had no intention of getting down from this irritating animal just to have to climb back upon it again! Instead, she waved her hand at him in mild indifference, though the other still clutched tightly to the handle, and forced her best charming and endearing mask on as she merrily sang out, “I’m sure it will be quite alright, Matthew.” Throwing him her sweetest smile, she continued, “But Matthew, could you be a dear and fetch it for me. It is new and I wouldn’t want it to be ruined.”

This time it was Matthew’s turn to glare, for he could hardly ignore such a request, and Mary watched in glee as he marched towards the rotten pile of vegetables, leant over carefully and plucked her hat from the top.

“Thank you, Matthew, dear.” She smiled at him sweetly again, but the effect was ruined by the elephant beneath her suddenly lurching forwards once more and letting out another great booming cry. Mary had just enough time to clutch the handles of her seat as she was thrown forwards and had to suffer Matthew’s laughter once more. Still, she managed to make her glare and haughty expression even more venomous as she contemplated how she could seek revenge later.

“Are you coming or not, Matthew, I am quite looking forward to beginning this elephant ride you know.”

“Of course, dear.” Matthew smiled up and, handing her sodden hat to the guides, who Mary was sure were still doing their best to stifle their laughter, he strode over to his elephant. Mary watched him closely as he quickly climbed the ladder and sat down on his own seat in a matter of moments and with an annoyingly effortless skill. As she watched, Mary’s smile quickly turned into another glare and became even more malicious as he turned and smiled smugly at her from across the clearing. She quickly averted her gaze and made a point of looking ahead, rolling her eyes and sticking her chin in the air in her best impression of her grandmother. Trust _him_ to find it all so easy! Though, Mary thought to herself, _his_ elephant is far more compliant and smaller than hers.

“Are you ready then, Mary?” Matthew asked, the teasing clear in his voice.

She turned towards him, her face once again its perfect mask of elegance and poise, though she did think the effect ruined slightly by the thick locks of hair that cascaded messily down her face. “Of course, I am simply waiting for you.”

Matthew was beaming now, his face more filled with excitement than mocking; the smile strangely infectious and Mary had to try hard to not match his grin with her own. He nodded down at the guides and called out in delight, “Then let’s go!”


End file.
